Before we begin, we must be clear that “communication is the process by which individuals use symbols, signs, and behaviors to exchange information” (O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., D. I., & Teven, J., 2018, p. 4). “We do it by our presence and by our absence, by our silences as well as our words, by our choices, gestures, and attitudes. We may not always do it well, but we always do it” (Unknown, Laureate, 2011).
“As human beings, we begin communicating from the time we are born. We continue to develop our skills in communication throughout our lives, through language, gestures, expressions, and even in the way we dress” (Laureate, 2011).
In this weeks blog, I thought of two people who, I believe, demonstrates competent communication. Those two indvidiuals are: Fred CurLing (my father) and Pastor Anthony Rayborne (my former pastor of my church and friend).
My father grew up with a mother for a teacher. Although she taught English in Jamaica, she grew up learning the queen’s language, in England. I remember as a child, when my sisters and I would talk amongst ourselves, my father would always correct us and say, “It’s ‘How are you?’ not “How you doing?” Later in the day, we received the same correction from my grandmother, his mother. Over the years, I’ve watch him talk during his presentations at work and sermons at church and it’s always been consistent. His non-verbal behavior and mannerisms that he exhibited were non-threatening. He never made you feel smaller than himself. He showed true equity. He often illustrated a functional perspective of communication. I’m sure he’s examined how “communication behaviors work (or don’t work)” to accomplish his goal in personal group settings as well as professional group settings (O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., D. I., & Teven, J., 2018, p. 5). His hand gestures suggested a calmness and his facial expressions and tone of voice are educational and pleasant. He always made you feel at ease and welcomed. These, I believe are great traits and behaviors to have to communicate effectively.
Pastor Anthony Rayborne, a former pastor of my church, however, has a different but still effective approach and method of communication. When he speaks, he speaks with authority. He also tells a joke about himself when he talks. He’s very percise and to the point. No beating around the bush. When he speaks, he holds your attention and make you ask questions. I remember one presentation he did at church where he read a scripture and asked a question afterwards. No one responded and he said, “I know I’m not that ugly where you can’t answer this question.” I laughed. Not only because it funny but because he made the congregation feel at ease by his joke. The room opened up and began to converse. Although he was very theathrical, for that moment, it was proabably well needed. I do beieve because he, too, could read the room and the non-verbal communicative expressions of the people in front of him, he was able to assess and reslove a perfect way to effectively communicate with that group.
Given the examples from both individuals, I would want to model some of my own ways of communication after them both. Like Fred Curling, I need to speak slower and think about how and what I’m saying before it comes out. He’s always told me, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” To add, I’d like to also feel comfortable and confident in breaking the tension by making others feel safe and comfortable like Pastor Anthony Rayborne does. Both methods that these men illustrate when communicating are effective. Both “strive to understand and respect other communicators before evaluating and responding” (NCA, 1999). Relationships are built, affirmations are expressed, and the ablitiy to influence others is also present. These are the goals that I look for to make a positive change in my community personally and professionally.
Resources:
Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). Communication skills in action, part 1 [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu
NCA Credo for Ethical Communication. (1999). Retrieved from https://www.natcom.org/sites/default/files/pages/1999_Public_Statements_NCA_Credo_for_Ethical_Communication_November.pdf
O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s. p. 1-25
Bridging the Gap in Early Childhood Education 
Hello Allison,
I found your read to be very descriptive and shows one can have multiple examples of role models in their life. Now I must ask, if you were to choose a first runner up who would it be? Would it be your father because he is the one who raised you and will continuously be in your life? Is it because he is the one you received examples of effective communication since birth? Could it be your former Pastor who brought icebreakers to messages he would deliver to others? Both are senders who channel by use of functions, code, transactional, encoding, decoding, affiliation to effectively show that cognitive complexity is mastered. I do believe, whomever you prefer to choose each are competent communicators. “Communication that is effective and appropriate for a given situation, in which the communicators continually evaluate and reassess their own communication process” (O’Hair et al., 2018).
Reference
O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D.I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th.ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.
• Chapter1, “Communication: Essential Human Behavior” (p.28)
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Lawanda,
That’s a great question. I wouldn’t be able to choose just one person. Although my father has a more consistent in my life than my former pastor, they are both equally as important than the next. It also wouldn’t be fair and I don’t want to seem partial because he’s my father. I am in communication with both and speak to both equally. Rightly quoted, as professionals we need to “continually evaluate and reassess” our “own communication processes” (O’Hair et al., 2018).
Resource:
O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D.I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th.ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s. p. 28.
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